F | Gratuitously jammed packed with explicit rape, incest, violence against women, awkward sex scenes, more rape, pregnancies, torture, and oh look, more sex — Tsarina is nothing more than poorly written erotica masquerading as historical fiction. It felt like Tsarina tries too had to be like D&D’s version of Game of Thrones. It’s a try-hard edgy, full of awkward and/or violent sex, and misogynistic treatment of female characters. While there is nothing wrong with erotica or sex in books, Alpsten takes it to the extremes in this novel. It is lewd and terribly written. Alpsten managed to take such colorful humans and turn them into one-dimensional caricatures who think of nothing but sex and drinking. There’s no plot here but showcasing sex, sex, violence, and more sex. Politics gets thrown out of the window here, along with the pacing.
I genuinely feel sorry for Catherine I that this book is attached to her name now.
Title: Tsarina
Author: Ellen Alpsten
Publisher: St. Martin’s Press
Publication Date: November 10th 2020
Synopsis: St. Petersburg, 1725. Peter the Great lies dying in his magnificent Winter Palace. The weakness and treachery of his only son has driven his father to an appalling act of cruelty and left the empire without an heir. Russia risks falling into chaos. Into the void steps the woman who has been by his side for decades: his second wife, Catherine Alexeyevna, as ambitious, ruthless and passionate as Peter himself.
Born into devastating poverty, Catherine used her extraordinary beauty and shrewd intelligence to ingratiate herself with Peter’s powerful generals, finally seducing the Tsar himself. But even amongst the splendor and opulence of her new life—the lavish feasts, glittering jewels, and candle-lit hours in Peter’s bedchamber—she knows the peril of her position. Peter’s attentions are fickle and his rages powerful; his first wife is condemned to a prison cell, her lover impaled alive in Red Square. And now Catherine faces the ultimate test: can she keep the Tsar’s death a secret as she plays a lethal game to destroy her enemies and take the Crown for herself?
From the sensuous pleasures of a decadent aristocracy, to the incense-filled rites of the Orthodox Church and the terror of Peter’s torture chambers, the intoxicating and dangerous world of Imperial Russia is brought to vivid life. Tsarina is the story of one remarkable woman whose bid for power would transform the Russian Empire.”
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Table of Contents
— REVIEW:
Let me get this out right now:
This is the worst historical fiction I’ve ever read.
And I’ve read The Other Boleyn Girl and Alison Pataki’s Sisi duology.
Maybe, I may just call this even one of the worst books I’ve read. The more I think about this, the more it solidifies in my mind. But I do want to be fair and so let’s get into this now, shall we?
Don’t get me wrong! The world is lush.
Alpsten’s strong points are the fact that she has this ability to force you to be amongst this rowdy and lewd cast of characters. However, this isn’t enough to save Tsarina because it was pretty much all sex and violence with no real plot.
I don’t mind sex in books.
If you are writing a book and want to add a sex scene? Go for it! You do you. I have no problem reading sex scenes in books, regardless if they’re romance books or not.
Authors don’t need to justify why they added sex scenes to their non-romance books. And yes, I checked on WorldCat to see what this book is listed under (and it’s not romance).
But why the explicit, gratuitous rape scenes? Why the graphic incest scene?
Did I really need to know — in detail — of the multiple times Marta/Catherine was raped? What was the point of adding detailed descriptions of Catherine being raped by her master and then a soldier later on?
To make readers uncomfortable? To have us empathize and root for Catherine while she rose to power “became a murderess”?
And how about that incest scene with the sisters? Please explain to me why I had to read that scene. Was it to show us how depraved they were? Was I supposed to go, “Look how obscene these Russian are with their wild and salacious mannerisms towards sex!”
My head hurts just trying to figure out why.
You may be asking, why am I pointing these out? Why am I taking a sh!t on graphic scenes that are sexual and/or violent in nature when I gave another book that also had a rape scene a higher rating?
The difference between this book and that other book is that this book is all sex and violence with no actual plot or good characterizations/character development.
Alpsten spent so much time depicting the sex and wild parties, yet she barely mentioned the political intrigue. You mean to tell me that you are going to write about a fascinating time that basically enabled Russia to be on the world stage, thanks to Peter, but this is the result? Instead, you’re going to spend more time on his sex life?
Russian history is not my forte, so I can’t speak on whether this book is accurate or not. But you know what? I do know? Russia — like many royal courts — had lots of intrigues, plotting, and backstabbing.
So? Where is the political intrigue?
Where are the schemes?
90% of the book is spent in the past where Catherine is essentially either pregnant, drinking, having sex, pregnant again. She’s also brooding over the fact that she needs a son and that Peter is sleeping around. Let’s not forget the fact that she is chasing him and traveling around with him.
It is so mind-boggling that we have this 480 page novel about Catherine I of Russia, who just lost her husband and needs to figure out how to keep her throne. But instead of the politics, the backstabbing, the intrigue, the schemes — we get Catherine reminiscing about the past. We have graphic and detailed rape and sex scenes, wild parties, affairs, incest, marital violence, and, oh yeah, sex.
Where’s this supposed danger that Catherine must deal with? What peril do they speak of?
Even though Catherine was born in extreme poverty and had no name to fall back on should Peter tire of her, there weren’t any stakes. Although she was raped multiple times (both on and off-screen), it never felt like she was in any danger. This is especially true once she became Peter’s mistress and later wife. I definitely didn’t think she was in jeopardy when Peter found out about her having an affair.
Mind you, this affair happened in the last few chapters of the book. Yeah, sorry, I didn’t feel like Catherine was in any real danger at that point. Alpsten didn’t even bother to show us why she fell for Willem Mons and had an affair with him. I, honest to God, laughed because great that Alpsten depicted all that sex and violence. But an affair? Oh no, God forbid!
As for Catherine’s miscarriages and dead children? Well, Catherine didn’t want to linger on their losses because she didn’t want Peter to discard her. Somehow, something that should have felt so tragic ended up being shoved aside in favor of God knows what.
And I certainly didn’t feel like she was in danger of losing her throne once Peter died. During that scene with Elizabeth in the “present” time, I had hoped that maybe we could get into the schemes, but nothing happened. Instead, we got a scene with Elizabeth acting like a brat towards her mother.
The synopsis lied.
This isn’t about Catherine bidding for the throne. You would need to have political intrigue and to scheme for that to be the case. And no, her ensuring that her husband’s mistress ended up with the pox in addition to losing her child doesn’t count. Catherine would have also had to be making sure that she convinced Peter to allow her to become regent/co-ruler upon his death. That didn’t happen here.
There wasn’t any peril or tension to speak of here that had me on the edge of my seat. Yes, this is historical fiction. We know that Catherine became the first woman to rule Imperial Russia. She was a trailblazer because she ensured that her daughter, Elizabeth, and her granddaughter-in-law, Catherine II, could become Empress regnant of Russia.
But just because we know the historical outcome doesn’t mean that you can’t have tension. There was no tension here because nothing happened to show us the dangers that Catherine would be facing once Peter died. There weren’t any backroom deals, no negotiations attempting to convince people to support her claim over Peter’s grandson’s claim. Heck! We didn’t even get a scene with the council reacting to Catherine claiming the throne. We got none of that.
No. Tsarina is all about Catherine’s (and thus Peter’s) sex life. From her rape at the hands of a rich man and a soldier to her sex life with Peter to her forcing her stepson to impregnate his wife and then her affair with Willem Mons — Tsarina was all about sex.
You know?
At least with Alison Pataki’s Sisi duology and Philippa Gregory’s The Other Boleyn Girl, at least there was a plot. Yes, I despised those books for various reasons. But despite those reasons, they were at least entertaining (somewhat) and, at times, enjoyable. Stuff actually happened.
Can’t say the same about Tsarina.
Do I recommend it?
Hell no. Stay away from this book. If you must read it, get a copy from the library or borrow from a friend who happens to have a copy. Don’t waste your money or time on this book. You’ll find better written erotica with historical settings either in your local romance section or somewhere on the internet.
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