The Duke and I by Julia Quinn

I “accidentally” fell down a rabbit hole that is historical romance. And by accidentally, blame my mom, who suddenly remembered how much she loved reading romance. 

I’m sure you’ve either seen or read all that needs to be said about The Duke and I by Julia Quinn. Many reviewers have pointed out the following trigger warnings for this book: sexual assault, sexual content, dubious consent, and sex while intoxicated. 

Ok, so I went into the book knowing what happens. But I still wanted to give this book a try. So how did these impact my reading experience? 

Title: The Duke and I
Author: Julia Quinn
Publisher: Avon
Publication Date: 5th January 2000
TW/CW: Rape, sexual assault, sexual content, dubious consent, sex while intoxicated
Synopsis: The Duke and I is a romance set in the Regency era.

In the ballrooms and drawing rooms of Regency London, rules abound. From their earliest days, children of aristocrats learn how to address an earl and curtsey before a prince—while other dictates of the ton are unspoken yet universally understood. A proper duke should be imperious and aloof. A young, marriageable lady should be amiable… but not too amiable.

Daphne Bridgerton has always failed at the latter. The fourth of eight siblings in her close-knit family, she has formed friendships with the most eligible young men in London. Everyone likes Daphne for her kindness and wit. But no one truly desires her. She is simply too deuced honest for that, too unwilling to play the romantic games that captivate gentlemen.

Amiability is not a characteristic shared by Simon Basset, Duke of Hastings. Recently returned to England from abroad, he intends to shun both marriage and society—just as his callous father shunned Simon throughout his painful childhood. Yet an encounter with his best friend’s sister offers another option. If Daphne agrees to a fake courtship, Simon can deter the mamas who parade their daughters before him. Daphne, meanwhile, will see her prospects and her reputation soar.

The plan works like a charm—at first. But amid the glittering, gossipy, cut-throat world of London’s elite, there is only one certainty: love ignores every rule…

StoryGraph | Goodreads | BookShopOrg | Amazon | Book Depository | Waterstones

The Duke and I is by no means a bad book.

Julia Quinn knows how to write dialogue. She knows how to make conversations sound witty and funny. You’ll find life, good banter, and maybe catch some feelings between these pages. I truly enjoyed Daphne’s interaction with her family. Also, just in general? I liked how these characters talked with each other.

It felt realistic. When I closed my eyes? I could picture those scenes and hear the dialogue. And you know? I couldn’t help but feel attached to these characters.

There were moments when I was reading this (after a day of studying for the NCLEX), and I laughed. I needed a relaxing read, and The Duke and I provided.

That is, up until the 60% mark.

I know this is a flash review. But you know what? Let me highlight some of my grievances.

Daphne is ignorant.

She has no idea what sex is and what it entitles. I understand that this is the Regency era. If she doesn’t know how pleasurable sex can be or beyond the basic details of P going into V, then okay! I’ll accept that. But I can’t accept that Daphne — who is supposedly quite smart, had three older brothers, and was menstruating by then — didn’t know sh!t about procreation.

Excuse me, but what? She had to have been menstruating for several years now, but somehow she never learned how babies are made? Bullsh!t.

Speaking of children, let’s talk about Daphne and Simon’s thoughts on them.

Daphne wants kids while Simon does not. Already, we have a conflict.

It’s ok if you don’t want kids! Your reasons are your own, and no one should question you. But people need to properly communicate that they wish to remain child-free to whomever they’re dating. 

Now, Simon does not do this. Rather than tell her he doesn’t want children? He chose to say to her that he “cannot have children.” Word chose matters here.

But worse still?

Both Simon and Daphne took advantage of each other.

Upon learning that his lovely bride doesn’t know a lot about sex, Simon gets so happy that he goes ahead and has sex with her. Sure, Daphne is willing, and he certainly takes care of her needs, but the consent is dubious.

How can a person consent when they don’t have all the necessary information? Newsflash, they can’t. Simon took advantage of his bride’s ignorance. 

And speaking of dubious consent — let’s talk about That Scene.

Daphne — upon learning how to make babies — understandably gets angry with Simon. Who could blame her? But any sympathy I had for her melted like ice in magma when she took advantage of Simon’s drunken state, had sex with him, and forced him to release inside her.

Maybe I’d be far more forgiving if they were both drunk. But Daphne was sober and sound of mind. She may not have planned it, but she chose to ignore Simon’s pleas.

Ok, let’s get something straight:

Just because someone consents to having sex with a person doesn’t mean they’re also consenting to make a baby. Sure, heterosexual sexual intercourse can lead to babies. But if one character is actively trying to avoid having children, states they are trying to prevent it? Then you don’t have consent to make babies. 

Permission to have sex =/= consent to having babies. No means no.

Final Word

I give this a 2.5 star and a C-. As much as I wish I could give The Duke and I by Julia Quinn a higher rating/grade, unfortunately, I can’t.